Nisha Mathur, your account is excruciatingly accurate to the experience of many LGBTQ Christians who have been treated just like this in the hipster churches. The details you provide bring out the gaslighting aspect. These churches use the LGBTQ people who come, because their presence gives the church a kind of cultural currency…and so the dissembling on the part of church leaders has to become increasingly manipulative, crazy-making. These guys, always guys, are savvy. They know that if they become affirming in fact, their church will suffer severe financial penalties. They know this. There is no doubt. So they drag out the “wrestling” the “discernment” — it’s all a self-serving lie.