Bailee, The short answer (and it’s an important one to face) is that you can’t. You can’t make a church that discriminates against sexual minorities safe without ending the harmful practices that stigmatize them using religion and spiritual authority. But you can study up on the issue (I wrote Letter to My Congregation, 2nd edition, there are many other good resources addressing the justifications evangelical Christians use for these practices); and then speak up on behalf of gay members who are part of your church, suffering under the unavoidable stigma. Talk to whoever will listen: pastors, lay leaders, church board members. Speak up for the kids who are in hiding, and particularly vulnerable — kids who haven’t even come to grips with their sexuality, gender non-conformity, etc. Churches that stigmatize people over these issues are dangerous for the people stigmatized, and that’s especially the case for minors. When you do this, you will probably lose social standing, credibility, etc., as you will be viewed as “unsupportive.” And by all means, inform unsuspecting sexual minorities of what the policies of your church are. It’s hard to believe, but it’s quite possible they don’t know. They have spoken elliptically with a lay leader or pastor and gotten the runaround, or a mealy-mouthed answer that doesn’t make the actual policies clear. Also I’d encourage you to ask the question of yourself, “What do I think about being on this bus, knowing that my LGBTQ+ brothers and sisters are only allowed to sit at the back of the bus?” In other face that reality straight in your heart and before God. Be willing to face the internal discomfort of that, knowing that sexual minorities live with much greater distress than that.